April Mixtape

Its time for another mixtape!  I love making these each month. Music is truly what keeps everyone together. I hope you enjoy this month's mixtape. Let me know what is your favorite song is in the comments.

April's Mixtape

I Love Me by Demi Lovato

What Am I by Why Don't We

Old Me by 5 Seconds of Summer

Bluebird by Miranda Lambert

Like You Say You Do by Luke Bryan

Intentions by Justin Bieber

Had It All by Parachute

Sunday Best by Surfaces

Front Seat by Rayne Johnson

Wild World by Kip Moore

Here With Me by Marshmello, CHVRCHES

For You by James TW

This Feeling by The Chainsmokers, Kelsea Ballerini

Say You Won't Let Go by James Arthur

All You, All Night, All Summer by Adam Hambrick

While You Still Can By Brothers Osborne

Gabrielle by Brett Eldredge

More Than My Hometown by Morgan Wallen

Love God Love People by Danny Gokey

Gimme That Girl by Joe Nichols

Ho Hey by The Lumineers

Pom Poms by Jonas Brothers

First Week by Graham Colton Band

Listen to this playlist here.

[[Ain't it funny how life changes, you wake up and nothing is the same
-Life Changes by Thomas Rhett]]

Be well and enjoy!

-gabrielle

April Inventory

Another month almost done.  April was a month that felt like it was 6 years long. I cannot believe we have been under quarantine for so long. I pray that this is working and we will be able to return to our lives with a new normal. I felt pretty good physically all month; my emotional/mental health was wobbly but I think I've gotten a hold of it. I loved this quote above and I felt like I started to realize how true this is.

My April Inventory

Highlights
+Doing a lot of soul searching and thinking about my life
+Finding my Cross Stitch Project
+Long walks in the neighborhood
+Lots of writing
+Virtual Live Yoga

Lowpoints
-Sadness and being worried
-We are still in Quarantine

Favorite Moments
+Not filling my car up for almost a month (and gas less than $2!)
+Jumping into creative projects again

Favorite Posts
+The New Normal
+The Happy List
+Making my {Mental} Health a Priority

Looking Forward To
+Warmer weather and sundresses
+More days spent outside
+Continuing to adjust to the new normal

Quote of the Month
+Everytime you are able to find humor in a difficult situation,  you win.

Hopes/Wishes for Next Month
+ We see more hope and maybe an end in sight with this quarantine
+More clarity in my mind and for what I want and what I need

What to Expect Next Month
Lots of post about Crohn's Disease; May 19 is World IBD day and I am excited to share this with you all since its very close to my heart.

[[Respond to every call that excites your spirit- Rumi]]

-gabrielle

Fabulous Friday Favorites

Happy friYAY! How the heck is it almost the end of April? This has been a curious week and I don't put anything past these wacky times. I am truly trying to embrace what life throws at me and laugh at what I can't control.

Here are some of my favorites from this week:

1. In an effort to keep my mind busy, I did some digging and found an old counted cross stitch project that I never finished. I've probably had this for a good 10 years now and its about 5% completed. It took a bit of learning and reading but I've jump back into it and it has been something I have been making time for especially before bed. I laughed when I took a look at it because it say, "Easy to Do for Beginners". This will be 8x10 when finished. Prayers that it doesn't take me another 10 years to finish! HA!

I usually have an embroidery hoop while I'm working to keep it tight

I think I originally bought this to make for my dad's retirement (10 years ago)

2. In the hunt for my Amazon Fire Stick, I found my iPod nano(?) with the usb cord attached. I decided to charge it and to my amazement it still works. Now if I can access my iTunes account and authorize my computer that would be great. BUT! I figured out a way to listen to the music off my iPod and its been fun listening to music that I loved almost 10 years ago. My favorite lost song I found- Pom Poms by the Jonas Brothers (no shame here- its a great dance around the room song!)

3. I have been wearing my boat shoes almost every day I have been going into work. They are truly comfortable and even though I am sitting for most of the day, they are don't restrict my feet. Our dress code has been relaxed at work and its been great trying to come up with more causal outfits. You would think it would be easier to dress more casual, for me its harder. HA! I am so happy to have these boat shoes lately. To think I wasn't sure if I was going to wear them.

4. We have been having the weirdest weather in Jersey.  It has gone from almost 70 degrees to 36 degrees; sunshine to rain to a gusando (yes that is what they are calling it, not quite a tornado but bigger than a gust of wind) to cloudy to hail and everything in between. Mother nature is really mad lately- think she has COVID-19?!

Hope you have a great weekend and stay safe!

[[Focus on happiness and stay quiet in your head. Gary Vee]]

Stay Well!
-gabrielle

Be sure to check out Making your {Mental} Health a Priority and What's Up Wednesday

Linking up with Andrea and Erika.

What's Up Wednesday

Hello! Its Wednesday already! This week has been a better week compared to the last few weeks. I think I'm coming to terms with all of this and I'm not trying to effect me as much. I try and stay positive and look at the bright side of things, but its so dang hard right now. I am trying to give myself as much grace as I can and pray I can see the good in all of this.

What I'm Eating This Week

Mama's home cooking and cake- lots of cake

What I'm Reminiscing About

not being in quarantine and the good old days

What I've Been Loving

Yoga, writing and finding ways to be creative

What I'm Dreading

Honestly nothing; life is as good as it can be right now. :) 

What I'm Working On

Lots of blog posts for next month and self control with snacks 

What I'm Excited About

Warmer weather and sundresses

What I'm Watching

The Hills on Amazon Prime. Its so bad but so good. 

What I'm Listening To

the birds chirping outside and lots of Spotify

What I'm Wearing

bright colored spring clothes

What I'm Doing This Weekend

Long walks around my neighborhood and sidewalk chalk

What I'm Looking Forward to Next Month

Warmer weather, new opportunities and less anxiety

What Else is New

Learning to speak up for myself and not settling for what not good for me. 

What are you up to this Wednesday?!

[[Let all you do be done in Love- 1 Corinthians 16:14]]

stay well!

-gabrielle

faith

4/20/20 I reached a point last week where I had given up all hope. I was frustrated and completely overwhelmed. I started my devotional and ive been consistent with it and reading the corresponding verse and writing my thoughts about it.  I started a prayer journal basically writing out my prayers and asking for help. Writing my prayers out seems to be easier than saying them so I pour my heart out to him- its extremely self centered and focused on only me.  Its hard to write out what is in my mind. but today, I felt as if my prayers were answered in part. I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for most of the month and today, I woke up happy. yes you read that right,  I was truly happy for once. I didn't dread getting up, I didn't worry about what was going to happen today; I was excited to get up and get dressed and go into work.  another crazy thing happened.  my heart rate always speeds up with I am going into work- like super quick like I just ran a marathon. Today as I put my mask and gloves on, I took a couple of deep breaths and got out of my car, calmly walked into work, and went to my office. I got settled and my heart rate quickly settled back to normal. I noticed it pretty quickly and was pretty shocked. I was productive and focused. I got things done without too much trouble and I caught myself smiling a few times. Tonights devotional was about hope and how even the hopeless have hope.  One part of the verse to read tonight was the one I've had as the background of my phone for year "be truly glad, there is wonderful joy ahead even though you have had to endure many trials for a while" I feel like God speaks to you when you listen. He throws you little pebbles to get you to listen and if you don't he throws bigger stones and etc. I take this as a sign that he heard my prayers and is showing me that I am going to get through this.

Making your {Mental} Health A Priority

disclaimer: I am in no way a mental health professional.  If you are experiencing anxiety or depression or you are having a hard time dealing with things that are happening, please seek help from a mental health professional. I have some resources listed at the end of this post. 

I am having a really hard time dealing with all of this lately. Its A LOT to handle.

The first few weeks, I handled it pretty well. I had a plan and I thought I was dealing with the stress of the unknown carefully and thoughtfully. The plan mostly consisted of working out- yoga, barre and long walks. While that worked for the first 3 weeks really well; I hit a wall (metaphorically speaking). Something changed and I wasn't excited to take my yoga classes any more; taking the barre classes seemed like more of a chore than something fun and I didn't even want to take a short walk around the neighborhood.  I started to lose interest in things that I used to like to do and I felt myself slowly slipping back into my old ways. I would sit on my phone/tablet for hours mindlessly scrolling through things that I really weren't paying attention to.

Knowing these signs are important for me and I can start to figure out something is wrong and that I need help.

I wasn't putting real effort into my appearance (even when I went to work) and I wasn't eating my normal diet and I just got to a point where I didn't care- which is so unlike me. I had lost all motivation and I was the most distracted person ever. I was agitated at the smallest things and I felt like every sound was amplified and the sounds inside of my head were so loud- ALL. THE. TIME.  I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. It was a terrible feeling but I had been here  and I started to pieces things together slowly but not before I finally got to a point where I felt like a tea kettle that was at the point of whistling because it was ready with the boiling water. I exploded- I couldn't stop crying, screaming and feeling very unsettled.  While this made me feel better- having this release, it wasn't the best way to release the emotions I was feeling. I felt sad after this and it made me think what the heck happened!

I started to talk to my friends about how I was feeling and I was surprised to see that a lot of them were having a hard time dealing with all of this as well. They each had their own way of handling the stress of the unknown and I felt comfort in the fact that I was not alone in my worries and feelings. The fact that probably 90% of people right now are feeling the same thing, is a relief and gave me the feeling of not feeling so alone.

I have always had a hard time expressing my feelings- putting what I feel into words to explain to someone else always seems impossible and I felt the person I would be telling would look at me with three heads. I usually keep everything bottled up and let it all explode at one time. I would try to write everything that was in my head and when I finally got to sit down and get it all out- my mind suddenly goes blank- completely BLANK. (This happens often!) I figured my best bet would to talk about the things inside my head.

I have been seeing a therapist for almost 4 years now and I love going to see her. I almost look forward to going to these sessions because I always feel so much lighter, after getting things off my mind. She helps me get out of my head and provides me with tools to help me in my life and to handle whatever life throws at me.

Kristen Bell has been one of the celebrities who has spoken out about her mental health and how she handles it. She is trying to break the stigma about mental health and how a lot of functioning people have it and it is nothing to be ashamed of it.  I am really happy that she has come out and talked about mental health and her struggles so candidly. I feel like if more people were more candid about their struggles, there wouldn't be a stigma surrounding this. Kristen provides some real gems of advice in this video.

My thought for sharing this with all of you is to help you and show you that you are not alone, if you are going through a rough time and you don't really understand it. When I first realized something was off with me, I thought I had just had a bad day or a bad week. As it progressed and eventually got worse, I needed to do something and I didn't know where to start.

These are some strategies that I have used when things get too much for me:

+Yoga- take an in person class, a vitural live class or even search YouTube to find a class. You have options.
+Taking long walks- on the treadmill, in your neighborhood, at the park, anywhere you feel comfortable.
+Have a lazy day- lay in bed all day, binge your favorite TV shows and eat what you want all while not judging yourself.
+Write- sometimes doing a brain dump can help; it literally will get you out of your head
+Talk to people who you trust- your therapist, friends, and family. Be sure to tell them the truth and don't not think you are a burden

+Deep centering breaths- try Box breathing I find it helpful
+Focus on the good things- gratitude turns what you have into enough.
+Pray- When things get too much for me, I pray- its nothing formal, just me asking for help.

When you are in the thick of things, it seems like it will never end but it will; it will take time and you will come out of this stronger. Please do not lose hope over things, believe tomorrow will be better.

[[Owning your story will be the bravest thing you will ever do- Brene Brown.]]

-gabrielle

Resources
Headspace
NJ Mental Health Cares
CDC Mental Health Resources
The Mighty

Fabulous Friday Favorites

We made it through another week. This was probably the hardest week for me mentally. I need to do something about this funk I've been in. Any suggestions would be very much appreciated. I know we are all trying our hardest but I don't think what I am doing is working.

Here is a random roundup of articles I enjoyed reading this week:

Women Leaders Handling the Pandemic/// Such a great read about how women lead countries are handling the pandemic better. Taiwan, New Zealand and Germany all took proactive preventative stances against COVID-19 and they seem to be all handling this better.  Four of the Five Nordic Countries are women lead. Makes you think how things could have improved. Who run the world? GIRLS!

Grandma Ran out of Beer/// Grandma knew what her quarantine essentials were and above all it was beer, and she was out of it. Coors Light was happy to deliver her 180 cans of beer to help her through this hard time.

New Brett Eldredge Song/// He is releasing his first new song in two years and the name of the single?! its me! GABRIELLE. I am so excited to listen to this today. He describes it as "a relationship that didn't quite go right and you always wonder what could have happened." HA! Have you been eavesdropping on my life lately?!

My Friday Favorites are short and sweet this week.  I hope you all are staying well and staying inside.

[[all great changes are preceded by chaos- deepak chopra]]

-gabrielle

Linking up with Andrea, Erika and Narci.

AHHHHH

It is so hard for me to deal with everything right now. I am overwhelmed with emotions, and they tend to come out in weird ways- yelling, screaming, getting mad about little things, crying. I have not moved from my bed all day (Thursday) and I have dealt with a lot of stuffthrough out my life yet this , this is probably the hardest because since I have nothing else to do I am thinking of other past traumas and its all coming to head since I didn't process it properly when it happened. Its not about the little thing that I am frustratd but its the bigger underlying thing that is bothering me.

It's Friday.

This week marks fourish weeks of alternate schedule due to COVID-19 for me. We have extended the alternate day schedule into May but I have a feeling that it will go into the summer. It's been another weird week filled of uncertainty, wonder and sadness. I have been trying to keep myself on somewhat of a schedule when I'm not working and it's hard to keep myself on task. My mind is always wandering, I am so distracted and just a feeling of true unrest. This week my thing was watching movies. It might take me a few times of pausing the movie to watch it fully but I have finished 3 movies this week. I am reviewing all the movies I see this month in my April Reads posts which has been aptly changed to April Flix.

Is anyone else struggling like I am? I know we are all in this together but that makes me feel even more alone to be honest. I lost my umph to work out and to do things I normally do. I want to shut my brain off to be honest.

April Photos

Full disclosure: You will see a lot of my neighborhood for this month's photo story.  I have been taking advantage of the nice weather we've been having to take nice long walks around my neighborhood. I love living so close to the water and seeing the boats getting unwrapped from the winter and getting ready for the season. Its a particular favorite of mine.

Here are some of my favorite snapshots from the past month.

That's a wrap on this  month's photo story. What have you been taking snapshots of during the month?

Is anyone else's Google Photos filled with screenshots of things you want to do, remember or just like?? Oh, okay, just me! Thanks! HAHA

[[every little thing is going to be alright.]]

-gabrielle

The Happy List

As I sit and start to write this post, it's Easter Sunday and yet it does not feel like Easter at all. The weather is gorgeous and egg hunts and bunnies are all around, Easter doesn't have that special feeling that it normally does. There are no formal sunrise services, no getting dressed up in your Sunday best and no family coming over to celebrate with food and laughter. This year Easter is different, families are celebrating over Zoom and Facetime; low key celebrations and creating new unique traditions. I am currently baking a cake and sitting in my pajamas thinking about how my family has their health, we are together with a roof over our head, food in our pantry and we are safe. We, as a family, try to always try to look for the bright side of things but this is hard. We are generally happy people and I think we have handled this situation pretty well. We've had some hard days and we have always gotten through them and I thought this post- about what is on your happy list would be perfect for right now especially with what is going on.

Being happy is a state of mind. Even during all of this craziness right now, I am generally happy and I have my days where I'm meh BUT I know and try to remember, that we will be stronger and things will get better after this all passes.  I figured we all could use something that is uplifting today. The Happy List, is something I thought of that would be fun to compile and then to look back on during hard days. This isn't a complete list but its a start.

The Happy List

Sunshine

Family Dinners

Bright Colors

 Long Walks

 Good Books

 Photographs

Sweet Memories

The Boardwalk

Good Friends

 Fun Concerts

 Vacations

 Handwritten Notes

What is on your happy list? What makes you happy?

[[The happiness of your life depends of your thoughts]]

-gabrielle

Fabulous Friday Favorites

This week was a little better for me. I think the realization that this isn't coming to an end any time soon, clicked for me this week.  The multitude of emotions I have been feeling has been tiring. I try each day to push through and get motivated. Some days it works, some days it doesn't work. I have been trying to say in touch with friends and it seems like we are all feeling the same thing. It's weird to say, that in a way, its nice we are all feeling these feelings of uncertainty and worry. We really are all in this together.

Instead of my normal links on Friday, I thought I would share a few observations/ thoughts from this past week.

1. Homemade Masks/// I have knowledge how to sew and basic understanding how a sewing machine works but making these masks proved to beyond my skill set. I have watched so many tutorials and read so many instructions but when it came time for me to actually make it- it was rough. One mask was too big, one was too small; the pleats were uneven and crooked; the elastic got caught one too many times in places in wasn't supposed to be. I laughed when I finally put my seam ripper down and looked at the mess I had made. I spoke to my crafty friends and alas, they were having trouble too! Praise!! I am not the only one! My one crafty friend even said the same thing I was thinking, those crafty ladies online make it look so easy! Needless to say, I have a long way to go before I can sew anything resembling what the finished product should be. HA!

2. Dinosaur Inflated Costumes/// These have been making me laugh all week long. Two people in town were spotting going into Shop Rite in inflatable dinosaur costumes. They looked so funny but I think it was a smart idea! They had to be sweating in them but at least it made people smile. Can you imagine seeing a dinosaur walking down the aisles of a supermarket?! They were also spotted in a drive by birthday party!

3. Dinosaur Landmark/// On the topic of dinosaurs,  the town over from me has a large dinosaur that has been a staple in that town for decades. ( I did some research, it has been in existence since the 1930s! I also learned his name is Bud.)  It's gone through many transformations and it might have lost its head a few times but it's back and better than ever. Someone dresses the dinosaur up for each holiday. Currently it has an Easter bonnet on. It also has a mask on because of what's going on. The little mask barely covers his snout and its adorable. It always makes me smile when I see it. Totally a silver lining in my day!

4. Daily Devotional/// Since I am having a hard time concentrating on reading, I decided to order myself a daily devotional called What Really Matters, Our Daily Bread. I started it yesterday and I think its perfect for me right now. The readings and reflections are short and sweet but are packed with lots of knowledge. I am trying to strengthen my spirituality and I think this is a good starting point.

5. Orchids/// I brought my orchids home late last month because I didn't want to chance leaving them there if we were to close for an extended time. I worked so hard to get them to bloom AKA I work really hard not to kill them. They seem to be adjusting well to their new surroundings, they miss the others that I left at the office but they have made new friends- the house plants. I am happy that they orchids are still blooming and looking beautiful. What a bright spot in this dreary time.

6. New Normal/// I talked about this on Monday but here in New Jersey, you are now mandated to wear masks anytime you go into a store. This gives me mixed emotions- I am happy that you are required to wear a mask but I am also sad because there have been so many times, I've smiled at someone as I walked past them and now I feel as if my non-verbal communication is limited. ( I am not venturing out to stores anyway, just work) Kelly Stamps of Kelly's Korner posted an Instastory about how sad she was going into the store and not really smiling at people and not making eye contact has been really hard for her because she is a people person like me. I totally understood what she was saying and felt the same exact way. Its a strange time we are living in right now.

Easter is this weekend, how are you and your family spending it? Do you have family traditions or do you try to do something new this year. I know Easter will not look the same as other years but this is a great time to start new traditions!

Enjoy your weekend, responsibly and stay well!

[[it is finished. John 19:50]]

-gabrielle

P.S. Don't forget to read this weeks posts- The New Normal and My Fitness Journey + Resources

Linking up with Andrea, Erica and Narci today.

My Fitness Journey + Resources

My goal has always been to be healthy. 

Going to the gym has been part of my life for the better part of the last 15 years. I have tried all different type of gyms, classes, routines, programs and I feel that in the past year I have really hit my stride finding what really works for me best. What I was looking for was something to keep me active, help me improve my strength and let me burn off some nervous/anxious energy. 

When I was in high school and probably through college I didn't take fitness seriously. I wasn't the most athletic and having gym class in high school was rough. I got through it but it was a struggle for me. Running the mile was a dreaded event for me along with going to the weight room.  I was terrified of the weights and machines and the only thing I would do at the gym was walk on the treadmill for a half hour, go on the elliptical for ten minutes and then do 10 sit-ups I should also mention this gym I was going to was in a house. Yes you read that correctly, a house. Each room had different equipment in it. It was a little gym and I loved it. 

Once in a blue moon in college, I would take a "run" around campus or the university next door.  I put run in quotes because I would start super fast, get tired within thirty seconds and then walk for most of it with short quick bursts of running until I decided I was done.  That was basically my workout routine.  I went to the college gym once in a while with my friends but we would do the normal girl things- treadmill, bike and sit-ups. I was so intimidated by the men lifting weights that I would never even think to ask for any help. 

When I got out of college, I tried a larger gym that offered classes.  I thought classes, at that time in my life, were the way to go. This gym was large, it had rows of cardio equipment and machines and a lot more people than I was used to. The classes at this gym were okay, they weren't anything that I thought it was going to be. It was a lot of  yelling and really high intensity movements- even the Pilates and yoga classes. Lets just say I didn't last that long at that gym. I think I wasted most of that gym membership and getting out of that contract required a lot of effort and money that I totally didn't understand. 

I went to that bigger gym for about two-ish years and during that time, I bought the at home DVDs for Pilates and I was truly enjoying that for a while. I ended up going back to the smaller gym but they had moved into a bigger building behind the small house.  I felt like this is more of a gym atmosphere and it helped with the motivation (a tiny bit). I still stuck with the elliptical and treadmill and maybe the sit-up machine.  My parents belonged to this gym and mama would help me figure out machines I didn't know. I was still very self conscious and very intimidated by the men lifting the heavy weights. I loved this gym for three reasons: one. the newest issue of Architectural Digest was always available to read and it always looked as if I was the very first person to read it and two. There was no contract for this gym and three.  I felt comfortable there. (so important)

For about 4-ish years, I went to this gym on and off.  I didn't have any goals, I just did it because I knew as an adult you were supposed to stay healthy and fit. I was eating pretty healthy and staying pretty active outside of the gym-lots of walks and I believe at the time I was attempting to play golf. (That was short lived- a mean frog tried to eat one of my pink golf balls one time and after that, I was done!)

In 2015, I started taking private yoga classes with a local instructor. She offered a variety of different classes that included barre, spin, standup paddleboard yoga. I've tried all of the different types of her classes, over the years. I fell in love with yoga- provided me with strength training, movement, low impact activity and a way to get my body moving and keeping it healthy.  I've always had the Thursday 6pm spot since I've started with her. She has tailored each session just for me with both yoga and strength training- knowing my limitations and what I am capable of. If one night, I was not feeling well, we would customize what we would do to fit my specific needs for that day. 
I have learned so much from her and I'm still learning- about yoga, the correct form for working out and what exercises to target specific areas.  

I loved our workouts were always something different. Each week, I had no idea what I would be doing and that I think always kept it interesting and I never pre-dreaded what we were going to do  I might have dreaded the workout while I was doing it but in the end, I loved it.  I was getting stronger and I felt more physically capable. It's a great feeling, knowing you accomplished something that you didn't know if you could. Having someone by my side, pushing me, guiding me and teaching me has been an amazing journey and I am so thankful for her! 

In 2017, I signed up for my town's Couch to 5K program. This program will take you from sitting on the couch to running a 5K in 8 weeks. It was a lot of fun and I felt as if the program really paced you well and kept you moving further each week. I really enjoyed this program a lot. Each week we would meet to do a group run, usually the first day of the week we were training in on the app, and then it was up to us to do the two other runs for the week within the app. I had a lot of fun with this, I met a lot of great people and I ended up finishing my first 5K proudly. 

For about a year, I stopped going to my yoga instructor because I moved. I moved about an hour away and I joined a gym where I lived. This was another big box gym. I felt like I needed something to keep me active and I figured maybe this gym would be different. Yeah, I was wrong.  This gym was constantly crowded, so loud and I constantly felt like I was at a club- the way men stared at me like I was a piece of meat was unsettling. I didn't matter that I was wearing baggy clothes, they still stared. It was uncomfortable and I have never have felt that way at my little house gym. I tried the yoga classes there and it was weird. The instructor was quirkier than a normal yoga instructor and I didn't like his teaching style.  They had a women's only section at the gym that I used a few time but they didn't enforce the section to be women only. I had to get the employees to kick out men who were up there. It was frustrating. I ended up wasting most of that membership too. 

I would go for walks around my neighborhood and I ended up buying the Body Boss Method workout book, I found this program on Instagram- it kept popping up as an ad. I was drawn to this program because you did not need any extra equipment. I used water bottles for weights and most of the moves included body weight. It was good for what I used it for. It also came with access to their website for guided videos to help you go through each day. I used this for about a month and I did see results, but I lost interest after a month or so. During this time, I was really sick and preparing for a surgery a few months a way. 

After I moved home late last summer, I contacted my yoga instructor to take private yoga classes again. I was still recovering from surgery and I figured this would help me get back to my old self. This helped me so much, getting back into my old routine and back into my old time slot- 6pm on Thursdays. I missed her yoga instruction so much and I was so happy to get back into my practice. Shortly after starting yoga again, I went back to my little local gym. It felt like I was home again, I wasn't objectified and I felt comfortable again. I even started to run again. It felt good to get back to the old me. 

Flash forward to the present day, COVID-19 has caused everyone to practice social distance and most places- gyms included have been closed to stop the spread of COVID-19. I was a tiny bit crushed when I realized I couldn't go to the gym but I totally understood why that happened. I was a little lost what I could do to exercise at home in the beginning. My yoga instructor started live Zoom yoga classes and I jumped to sign up for them.  It has been so much fun doing yoga at home yet with other people. I have also been taking other yoga classes from people know. Its neat to see how other instructors cue the poses and what they come up with. I have also signed up for Xtend Barre classes on Openfit. I've taken barre classes in the past and I was curious to see what this was all about. WOAH! These 30 minute classes really give me a workout. I am dripping sweat by the end of it and I feel like I worked out in a gym. These classes along with long walks around the neighborhood have been perfect to help me deal with all this stress and helping me process my feelings.

Overall, my goal for my fitness has always been to be healthy- plain and simple. I eat the things that fuel my body and when I eat something not healthy, I don't beat myself up over it. Diets aren't really something I personally like or take part in. I eat to nourish myself and not be hungry; if I want a snack, I eat a snack; if I want two snacks, I eat two snacks.  I honestly don't even own a scale and when I do step on one, usually at the gym, I don't give that number too much thought (usually I think "boy, that was a mean word that scale said to me!")   I think, I have always had a pretty good balance between eating healthy and exercising. I am lucky that I have access to so many different types of fitness programs. I am including links to all the resources I have talked about above, down below. 

What are you doing to take care of yourself during this crazy time? Do you have a particular virtual class you love? Let me know in the comments below!

**I am not a trained fitness professional, I have shared this with you to give you inspiration and ideas to bring into your own practice.  Please consult with a doctor before starting any new exercise program.**

[[a little progress each day adds up to big results]]

-gabrielle


My Fitness Resources

Adrienne Costa-DiPaolo- My amazing yoga instructor who has a women centered practice; She has  multiple virtual live yoga classes Monday- Saturday. I cannot say enough good things about her!
Eric Ferrone-He teaches yoga at a few different yoga studios around Monmouth and Ocean County, NJ. He will post where he is (virtually) teaching each week.
Jake Panasevich-He teaches multiple live yoga classes a day from his quarantine cabin in upstate NY (also adorable pup is usually in the class snoozing!)
Pure Yoga Toms River- They have pre-recorded classes available on YouTube for you to take and live classes available on the website. Perfect for people who can't attend live classes.
Xtend Barre- Andrea Rogers is amazing with this and she truly makes you work! These thirty minute workouts are perfect for a quick workout.
Body Boss Method- The Ultimate Body Fitness guide is the one I have. Its a great resource and they have others available too!
Pro Body Fitness- The hometown gym that I love and have been going to on and off for the last 15+ years.

(I am in no way being paid to promote these fitness resources, I truly use them and I just think they are awesome.)

The New Normal

COVID-19 came in slow and quiet and then it seemed as if it had a temper tantrum of a two year old because it didn't get its way so it created such chaos all over. What we used to know is no more.  I feel like the juxtaposition between the old and new is night and day. Light and dark. How did things change so quickly? What is going to be our new normal?

Non essential business' are closed,  children are not going to a physical school but are receiving virtual instruction and their parents have suddenly become their new teachers; employees are adjusting to their new co-workers (their pets, spouses and children) while navigating on line meetings and deadlines. While we are all adjusting to a new normal right now, my thoughts, emotions and feelings have been all over the place.

When I wake up in the morning, before I get out of bed, my heart is already racing. All of this unknown has been wearing on me an awful lot plus all of the other things that I normally worry about too. Its a lot to carry. I have been practicing a lot of yoga along with meditation, deep breathing and other exercises to try to clear my hear or get some of the worry off my mind. It sometimes works but other times it doesn't. This is a weird time to exist. The world is in disarray and it doesn't seem to get better.

I feel like everyone is handling this in their own ways. This is unprecedented and there really isn't any guidebook on how to handle things. We all laugh looking at memes making fun of the craziness around us because after all, laughter is the best medicine. Others have different coping methods, cleaning, baking, reading, staying off of social media and away from/limiting exposure to the news, exercising and just giving themselves grace if they want to have an unproductive day. I have been using exercise as a good distraction and giving myself grace when I really don't want to do anything. Some days its easy to be motivated and tackle my to-do list but other days, Facebook videos are so enticing.

If I am being honest, this past weekend was hard for me.  A lot of anxiety coupled with the fact I wanted to do nothing more than just lay in bed was hard for me. I feel like I do have good coping strategizes but sometimes, I let the loud voices of negativity come to the forefront and rule what my thoughts will be. Reasoning with myself, making to do lists, setting mini goals and trying to silence these voices did work this weekend.

Having a compromised immune system during all of this makes things even more scary for me. I try to take all of the precautions I can but I cannot control the people around me (which scares me even more!) All of this uncertainty gives me a lot of misplaced anger and a lot anxiety that makes it hard to stay calm some days. I wish there was a magic wand to make this all go away but there is none and this is our new normal.

So many things have changed for everyone- their routines, the rhythms and ways of life. In my life,  one of the biggest changes that has happened was work for me. Now I don't exclusively work from home; I go into the office every other day and for a building that used to be bustling with employees and the public, its so weird to see no one in the hallways, to have no interruptions and to not really have that much interaction with anyone. With all my emotions running wild, it has been super hard to concentrate lately. My mind is constantly wandering and I need to have pep talks with myself and basically say, "finish this task and then you can take a break". I work in an office by myself so staying away from others is easy for me,  most of the time, people forget I am in my office- I am a quiet worker.  I am constantly spraying Lysol on everything I touch or something someone else could touch; my Purell bottle is always right next to me along with backups just in case.  Driving to and from work is even more creepier, the normal amount of traffic is not there and the business' that are normally open are all closed. It looks like a ghost town. Though the silver lining in all of this- my commute is about 10 minutes shorter and I can park outside my building.

Another big change is the gym closing. I had just gotten into such a good rhythm of going a few times a week and then poof it went away. I totally understand why it had to close and I have found new ways to stay active but still I was sad. I was even more sad for my gym friends who went to the gym everyday- what in the world were they going to do? I stopped going to the yoga studio I have been going to for years as well- just until this blows over. This might seem like a trivial thing to be upset over and I am very thankful to have the opportunity to go to the gym and practice yoga, but these things help me keep my anxiety away. I am very thankful for virtual yoga and online fitness classes. These have been one of the few things that I seem to be able to concentrate on. These help me keep my anxiety levels down (just a little) and let me work off some anxious energy.

One of the things I am absolutely loving is how creative people are being with staying connected with each other. Facetime, Zoom happy hours and using social distance all make me so happy to see.  This is probably the easiest thing for everyone to do- stay connected. We are so lucky to have the internet and electric to power all the things that keep us entertained. Could you imagine being quarantined without all the luxuries we have?! It would be harder than it is now.

On my run last week, I encountered many houses that had rainbows in the windows or teddy bears.  I laughed every time I saw one and then I later saw on Facebook, that is a thing- when parents take their children on walks, they have a scavenger hunt to find different items. Even as an adult, this made me smile so much. These little acts of happiness brings a smile to everyone's face in such a weird time.

This new normal is weird, unsettling and seems to never end. I am constantly looking at my phone or planner to see what day it really is and what time it is- time seems to be going so slow. Change is hard for anyone especially change that comes on so quickly. Take the time and let yourself feel these emotions- unpack them and work though them-that's what I am trying to do.  It's not the easiest thing to do but I got another month to work on it.

I listen to Gary Vanyerchuk often and his number one tip for this uncertain time- Gratitude. I think I have forgotten that I am so grateful for so many things because my emotions have been so much louder. I am hoping that I can focus my energy on more gratitude less wandering negative thoughts.

How are you dealing with your new normal?

[[Be the light for someone if they are having a dark day; All of us could use some love,  even the strong ones. Be Kind]]

-gabrielle