disclaimer: I am in no way a mental health professional. If you are experiencing anxiety or depression or you are having a hard time dealing with things that are happening, please seek help from a mental health professional. I have some resources listed at the end of this post.
I am having a really hard time dealing with all of this lately. Its A LOT to handle.
The first few weeks, I handled it pretty well. I had a plan and I thought I was dealing with the stress of the unknown carefully and thoughtfully. The plan mostly consisted of working out- yoga, barre and long walks. While that worked for the first 3 weeks really well; I hit a wall (metaphorically speaking). Something changed and I wasn't excited to take my yoga classes any more; taking the barre classes seemed like more of a chore than something fun and I didn't even want to take a short walk around the neighborhood. I started to lose interest in things that I used to like to do and I felt myself slowly slipping back into my old ways. I would sit on my phone/tablet for hours mindlessly scrolling through things that I really weren't paying attention to.
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| Knowing these signs are important for me and I can start to figure out something is wrong and that I need help. |
I wasn't putting real effort into my appearance (even when I went to work) and I wasn't eating my normal diet and I just got to a point where I didn't care- which is so unlike me. I had lost all motivation and I was the most distracted person ever. I was agitated at the smallest things and I felt like every sound was amplified and the sounds inside of my head were so loud- ALL. THE. TIME. I felt as if the walls were closing in on me. It was a terrible feeling but I had been here and I started to pieces things together slowly but not before I finally got to a point where I felt like a tea kettle that was at the point of whistling because it was ready with the boiling water. I exploded- I couldn't stop crying, screaming and feeling very unsettled. While this made me feel better- having this release, it wasn't the best way to release the emotions I was feeling. I felt sad after this and it made me think what the heck happened!
I started to talk to my friends about how I was feeling and I was surprised to see that a lot of them were having a hard time dealing with all of this as well. They each had their own way of handling the stress of the unknown and I felt comfort in the fact that I was not alone in my worries and feelings. The fact that probably 90% of people right now are feeling the same thing, is a relief and gave me the feeling of not feeling so alone.
I have always had a hard time expressing my feelings- putting what I feel into words to explain to someone else always seems impossible and I felt the person I would be telling would look at me with three heads. I usually keep everything bottled up and let it all explode at one time. I would try to write everything that was in my head and when I finally got to sit down and get it all out- my mind suddenly goes blank- completely BLANK. (This happens often!) I figured my best bet would to talk about the things inside my head.
I have been seeing a therapist for almost 4 years now and I love going to see her. I almost look forward to going to these sessions because I always feel so much lighter, after getting things off my mind. She helps me get out of my head and provides me with tools to help me in my life and to handle whatever life throws at me.
Kristen Bell has been one of the celebrities who has spoken out about her mental health and how she handles it. She is trying to break the stigma about mental health and how a lot of functioning people have it and it is nothing to be ashamed of it. I am really happy that she has come out and talked about mental health and her struggles so candidly. I feel like if more people were more candid about their struggles, there wouldn't be a stigma surrounding this. Kristen provides some real gems of advice in this video.
My thought for sharing this with all of you is to help you and show you that you are not alone, if you are going through a rough time and you don't really understand it. When I first realized something was off with me, I thought I had just had a bad day or a bad week. As it progressed and eventually got worse, I needed to do something and I didn't know where to start.
These are some strategies that I have used when things get too much for me:
+Yoga- take an in person class, a vitural live class or even search YouTube to find a class. You have options.
+Taking long walks- on the treadmill, in your neighborhood, at the park, anywhere you feel comfortable.
+Have a lazy day- lay in bed all day, binge your favorite TV shows and eat what you want all while not judging yourself.
+Write- sometimes doing a brain dump can help; it literally will get you out of your head
+Talk to people who you trust- your therapist, friends, and family. Be sure to tell them the truth and don't not think you are a burden
+Focus on the good things- gratitude turns what you have into enough.
+Pray- When things get too much for me, I pray- its nothing formal, just me asking for help.
When you are in the thick of things, it seems like it will never end but it will; it will take time and you will come out of this stronger. Please do not lose hope over things, believe tomorrow will be better.
[[Owning your story will be the bravest thing you will ever do- Brene Brown.]]
-gabrielle
Resources
Headspace
NJ Mental Health Cares
CDC Mental Health Resources
The Mighty
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