Am I Still Blooming? Word of the Year Update

Bloom: (noun) The beautiful process of becoming.

It's 7 months into 2020 and Bloom is still very much relevant to me and my everyday life. I feel as if this was the word that was meant to define this year for me. I love the idea of having a word that defines your year. After a crazy 2019, I felt this might help me focus on something and perhaps allow me to bring out the best in me. You can read about my thoughts on my word back in January here.

I have been thinking about my word of the year a lot lately. How has it shaped my year? What have I been doing to bloom? What am I preparing to bloom in the future? One of the definitions of Bloom I found was "the state or period of greatest beauty, freshness or vigor." I would say I am really enthusiastic about trying new things right now.

I have become someone who loves to go in the water at the beach. I used to never be excited to go into any body of water and now this summer, I've been standup paddle boarding up and down the creek, jumped into the river and I plan to go kayaking at some point this summer. Living by the water has always been something I have loved but this summer, I feel like it has reached a whole new level of appreciation this year.

Being creative is something else I've fallen more and more in love with lately. For a long time, I was afraid to create. I was worried it was going to come out all wrong or I would truly hate it. I decided to just go for it- do whatever I feel and let it flow. I try not to think too hard while creating because all the thoughts get in the way of the magic. I have been trying painting, doodling, sewing, clay sculpture, cross-stitching, knitting- anything that can be created. I really enjoy all of these different ways to create.

Another definition of Bloom is a state or time of great activity, thriving or achievement. I feel this quarantine has really helped me open my eyes to what I really want and what I should be going after. I feel like there has been a flurry of activity lately in my mind. New opportunities, new ideas, and new ways of thinking. I am so excited to try out all these new thoughts and ideas.  I cannot wait to see what the future holds for me.

I feel more like my true self than I have felt in years. Last August, I was lost and I kept saying I feel like I lost myself. Now almost a year later, I feel I am on the right track to become who I want to be. I want to be the goofy, silly, curious about everything and full of life Gabby I used to be.  Don't get me wrong, I feel happy, content and full of joy right now to be able to do the things that I enjoy but I still feel like my goofy/silly side is still missing; I am hoping to find that soon.

Since I have been blooming this year, I have noticed a few things that have been changing for the better. One of them is I have handled hard situations differently that I would have in the past. For example, my usual reaction for a hard situation was usually to just cry about it and not really accomplish anything. Now, I breathe, think about the situation as a whole and figure out a solution that does not involve crying. This has been a game changer for me. I am able to better handle hard situations without letting my emotions get the best of me (most of the time).

Another BIG thing I have realized is- its okay to miss something- a memory, a person, a place but not want to go back to it. You have this great memory of an experience and you try to go recreate that feeling over again, 9 times out of 10, it just doesn't work. I have tried many times to go back to something and it would always mess up the original memory. I would rather leave what was, was.

Leaving what was the original memory alone, was a challenging lesson for me. I always thought going back to something would bring me comfort because its familiar and you know what to expect but exactly that- knowing what to expect, is what messed up those original memories. You learned from those experiences-good or bad- but now you are older, wiser and you know what you are getting yourself into,  why would you do it again? Especially if you look back on it and the original memory wasn't the best as you remembered it. 

I have been giving myself a lot more grace in all areas of my life. If I want it go for a walk instead of doing my laundry,  I will. Don't worry I'll get my laundry done at some point but I am not stressing about it. If I want to spend the afternoon binge watching some terrible show, I will. I have been trying to mix in things that make me happy along side things that don't always spark joy.

One last thing, in the literal sense, the flowers that I adopted back in January have been doing amazing. They are truly blooming and they bring me so much joy. Check back next week for my plant mom update.

All in all, I am still blooming. I think I will always be blooming because I want to continue to learn, experience and live life to the fullest.

Is your word of the year still relevant? How is it impacting your life? Tell me in the comments.

-gabrielle