Hello! Hi! Howdy!
Its Saturday night, Leo and I are home relaxing. I have been doing a few things around the house and even been painting in my garage studio.
Painting brings me so much JOY! While I am no professional, I enjoy the act of picking out different colors and just letting the paint brush wander.
I picked up some new canvas at Michaels this week. They were having a crazy sale- Buy 1 Get 2 free! TWO free!! Naturally I ordered 30 of them; ordered online and picked them up in store. The store associate asked me if taught one of those Paint and Sip classes. HA! I said I just like to paint. lol.
Today was a good day- Blake and I did some errands this morning, we watched a few episodes of the office and then he went off to work and here we are.
Its officially 90 days until Hawaii! I will share what I am packing and what I am most excited for about Hawaii in August.
This season of my life, has been very interesting and I am grateful for this crazy adventure!
Laundry and my canvas are calling my name!
XO
"If you want to be successful, its just this simple, know what you are doing. Love what you are doing. And believe in what you are doing" WIll Rogers.
Saturday, June 29, 2019
Wednesday, June 26, 2019
Recent Inspiration and a Revelation
Hi! Hello!
Wonder Grace and Joy is born. Today it is born and I couldn't be happier. I have been around in the blogging world on and off for years and now I am back. Recently certain events have brought me to a period of reflection and renewal. I am trying to rediscover the girl I was years ago- happy, giddy about life and curious. There is a well know Kate Spade quote that seems to fit this old idea of me:
Wonder Grace and Joy is born. Today it is born and I couldn't be happier. I have been around in the blogging world on and off for years and now I am back. Recently certain events have brought me to a period of reflection and renewal. I am trying to rediscover the girl I was years ago- happy, giddy about life and curious. There is a well know Kate Spade quote that seems to fit this old idea of me:
I feel like this described what I used to be and to tell you the truth, I miss her. Life is what you make it so I am making it the best I can.
SO TODAY....I decided to stop wishing I was her and lamenting over how she isn't here anymore. Actually I think she is here within me but she's afraid to come out and show her fun side. I am going to try my hardest to find this girl who i so wish would come out and play. I love my life right now and I am very content with who I have become but I think I can improve (can't everyone?!) and this is the perfect time to embark on this new adventure.
I am recalling all the things I used to love- color, painting, creating really cute outfits, being playful and silly, observing life and just truly enjoying life to the fullest. I had fun with life and not took things so seriously.
Wonder Grace and Joy is my journey and my scrapbook of living life to the fullest and rediscovering the old me.
Monday, June 24, 2019
This is unfinished draft; I would start to write randomly and this would end up in my drafts folder. I am publishing this to include as if this was my physical journal.
Its Monday.
I had a good productive day at work- this has been something that has made me so happy- being productive. You know when you get things done, and you feel like you are really doing something with your life?! That was today for me. FINALLY! I have waited 8 long years for this feeling and its finally here and it feels amazing. This new position I am training for feels right- now don't get me wrong I do feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to learn, the whole bearing of responibiltiy over my head and the sheer fact that they are entrusting me to do this job BUT I am very excited about it too. I finally feel settled. That's a great word, I probably dub this my "settled" year. I am finally settling in at work and at home. It only took a combination of almost 10 years to feel settled when I am 31 years old but it feels good.
I have finally started painting again- yet sometime when I sit infront of a canvas with many colors and paintbrushes, I cant seem to think of anything to paint. Those nights I just pick a color, a brush and let It flow, like tonight. I have no idea what this aqua blob with a heavy purple ourline is but I painted it. I read somewhere that you need to keep working on what you enjoy to get good at it (what you think is good) and I want to make that my summer goal- feel more comfortable with painting and not be so unsure about it. what is the worst that can happen?! I don't like what I painted and I paint over it?! Tonights painting looks like a map of a lake with its walking trail. who knows.
I need to get out of my head and just do.
I don't think blake understands me sometimes. I get it- I have trouble explaining things that are abstract but
Its Monday.
I had a good productive day at work- this has been something that has made me so happy- being productive. You know when you get things done, and you feel like you are really doing something with your life?! That was today for me. FINALLY! I have waited 8 long years for this feeling and its finally here and it feels amazing. This new position I am training for feels right- now don't get me wrong I do feel overwhelmed with the amount of things I need to learn, the whole bearing of responibiltiy over my head and the sheer fact that they are entrusting me to do this job BUT I am very excited about it too. I finally feel settled. That's a great word, I probably dub this my "settled" year. I am finally settling in at work and at home. It only took a combination of almost 10 years to feel settled when I am 31 years old but it feels good.
I have finally started painting again- yet sometime when I sit infront of a canvas with many colors and paintbrushes, I cant seem to think of anything to paint. Those nights I just pick a color, a brush and let It flow, like tonight. I have no idea what this aqua blob with a heavy purple ourline is but I painted it. I read somewhere that you need to keep working on what you enjoy to get good at it (what you think is good) and I want to make that my summer goal- feel more comfortable with painting and not be so unsure about it. what is the worst that can happen?! I don't like what I painted and I paint over it?! Tonights painting looks like a map of a lake with its walking trail. who knows.
I need to get out of my head and just do.
I don't think blake understands me sometimes. I get it- I have trouble explaining things that are abstract but
Wednesday, June 5, 2019
Can't Sleep
This is unfinished draft; I would start to write randomly and this would end up in my drafts folder. I am publishing this to include as if this was my physical journal.
Hello. I know there has been a long silence on here but I don't know what I want or who I am. Maybe today I am just stuck in a rut because I said something that B was caught off guard and it was against what I normally say- I am usually so much more reserved and nice about things but to tell you the truth, wedding planning is driving me bonkers. There has been so many things I wished I did sooner- 1. sit down our parents and outline what our expectations are for the wedding planning process
2. not let others influence my opinon of things
3. not been as sick as I was when I got engaged
4. set boundaries
5. do more things on my own
6. have realistic expecatations for this experience
7. speak up when I didnt like something
I think I could have done all of these things besides not being sick which is completely out of my control and it scares me that quite possibly on one of the most important days of my life, I could be sick as a dog and I cant do anything to ward that off. Having Crohn's disease has taught me so much about myself and some things I like, other things I want to try to hid because they are ugly sides. anyone who has dealt with a chronic illness, knows how frustrating this is. you can plan for every thing yet WHAM! you have a flare and there really is nothing that can be done.
Trying to make others understand this invisible illness has really been frustrating for me- it is something that is hard for me to understand(and it still is) and to try to explain that to others who don't comprehend what you are saying makes it even harder- especially when they don't want to understand (IMO). They think if you are up and about, you are fine. I don't know how to explain it.
I want to do something grand yet I am lazy AF. I see people who IMO have it way worse than I do yet they are running a company or starting a foundation and here I am barely able to organize papers at home or keep on a schedule of some sort outside of work. I feel like people have this idea about me that I am so organized and so perfect at home yet I feel like I am lazy and unmotivated all the time. one day I will come home after work and be able to do wash, the dishes, clean up, vaccum and other things yet other days, all I want to do is sit and do nothing. I worry that something is wrong on those days when I don't want to do something.
Hello. I know there has been a long silence on here but I don't know what I want or who I am. Maybe today I am just stuck in a rut because I said something that B was caught off guard and it was against what I normally say- I am usually so much more reserved and nice about things but to tell you the truth, wedding planning is driving me bonkers. There has been so many things I wished I did sooner- 1. sit down our parents and outline what our expectations are for the wedding planning process
2. not let others influence my opinon of things
3. not been as sick as I was when I got engaged
4. set boundaries
5. do more things on my own
6. have realistic expecatations for this experience
7. speak up when I didnt like something
I think I could have done all of these things besides not being sick which is completely out of my control and it scares me that quite possibly on one of the most important days of my life, I could be sick as a dog and I cant do anything to ward that off. Having Crohn's disease has taught me so much about myself and some things I like, other things I want to try to hid because they are ugly sides. anyone who has dealt with a chronic illness, knows how frustrating this is. you can plan for every thing yet WHAM! you have a flare and there really is nothing that can be done.
Trying to make others understand this invisible illness has really been frustrating for me- it is something that is hard for me to understand(and it still is) and to try to explain that to others who don't comprehend what you are saying makes it even harder- especially when they don't want to understand (IMO). They think if you are up and about, you are fine. I don't know how to explain it.
I want to do something grand yet I am lazy AF. I see people who IMO have it way worse than I do yet they are running a company or starting a foundation and here I am barely able to organize papers at home or keep on a schedule of some sort outside of work. I feel like people have this idea about me that I am so organized and so perfect at home yet I feel like I am lazy and unmotivated all the time. one day I will come home after work and be able to do wash, the dishes, clean up, vaccum and other things yet other days, all I want to do is sit and do nothing. I worry that something is wrong on those days when I don't want to do something.
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