Meh.

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That is how I feel. I had a great weekend. I went to lunch and to TJ Maxx on Saturday and then today I went to the movies and lunch by myself. The Minions movie was adorable. What a great idea to tell the story before Gru. 

I am feeling like above due to my diagonsis from last week. Most days I am under control with my emotions and then I start researching something that pops into my head and I'm done. I have this team of doctors and support and its overwhelming. Everything I have read, this is totally normal, I understand that but I have no one to talk to or even explain what is going on. My work friends know a little but not everything. I have maybe three friends outside of work and the one was less than supportive of this. I don't want to post what is happening all over social media- its not my style. I need someone to confide in. I am really considering an ex boyfriend who wanted to be my friend, my confident. I am that desperate to get this off my chest and let someone else on the inside. I want to see a psychologist to talk about all of this but I am worried that I have no time off,  and they will have crazy hours and it just gives me more to worry about. Merp.

To end this on a happier note.  These three articles had me in stitches, I was laughing so hard.

24 Parks and Rec Quotes to Make You Laugh

Anna Kendrick for the Win

15 Times Gordon Rasmey Got Sassy 

Also this seems appropriate:

Sunday nights can be pretty rough. Try not to let yourself get too sad or anxious about the week ahead. You can get through anything that’s going to happen this week. You will do marvelous things and it’ll be WONDERFUL.

Here is your Sunday evening reminder that you can handle and make it through whatever this week throws at you.

xx Gabrielle

Doctor's Appointment and Atlanta Bread Review

Happy Wednesday. My day started out very early for a doctor's consultation 2 hours away. I was a bundle of nerves for the whole car ride there. My anxiety has been crazy with my current hospitalization and not knowing what is happening. We ended up getting a little lost and we were trying to find someone to ask and then all of the sudden, I saw a man in a white lab coat and screamed "DOCCCCCTTTTTTTTOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRR!!!" We jammed on the brakes and rolled down the window. He was sorta helpful that he got us to the vicinity of the building we needed. The butterflies in my stomach were working extra hard today. Once we got upstairs and to the right office, the whole office staff was wonderful. From the receptionist to the nurses to the doctors, they were professional, courteous and very helpful. They looked at me like a person not just symptoms. The doctor gave me a lot of insight and also a diagnosis which I have been waiting for FIVE years. Its nice to finally know what is going on but at the same time its really scary. I said to my mom last year that I really want to find out what is wrong with me and I am very glad I did. Now I am on an adventure to try to stay healthy and symptom free.

On the way home at 2pm I was starving. We were in the doctors for almost 2 hours which was 1. very rare to be with a doctor for SO LONG and 2. very nice to be able to speak openly and not be told, ' oh thats not important' or ' that is not relevant to this'.
I suggested we stop at Atlanta Bread, which is one of my favorite sandwich shops.
 If I don't feel like going to a restaurant and fast food is too quick for me, Atlanta Bread is the perfect solution. There are two locations close to me and I love both of them equally. Atlanta Bread has a nice relaxed atmosphere to it. Its a cross between a coffee shop and a library sitting area with really great food.
The food choices are a great variety that include sandwiches, soups, paninis, salads and baked goods. They incorporate old classics with new and exciting dishes. All of the choices look delicious and I always want to try something new, but i always fall back on my old favorite- Bella Chicken.

Yes, it tastes just as good as it looks. The little container in front of the sandwich is basil pesto sauce ((so yummy!!)) I substitute the focaccia bread for a french baguette. I could easily eat five of these in one sitting. They are THAT  good . I have to give credit to my parents, because they are the ones that started eating this sandwich and I just jumped on the bandwagon with it.
Since my parents were with me, ordering was super simple- 3 Bella Chickens, one with the french baguette. 
This ended our crazy day perfectly.

Today was an emotional roller coaster and I was very happy that my parents are there to offer their support and a shoulder to cry on. This is a sorta scary time in my life and I'm happy to have their support.

I am BEYOND excited to go back to work tomorrow. I hope tomorrow is a nice easy day. Though I wouldn't be upset if it was a crazy day like I remember.

XX Gabrielle

ps. We passed a coffee shop/ religious material store called HOLY GROUNDS and I couldn't stop giggling. What a perfect name combining two totally unrelated things.

10 things that make me happy

Over on my Tumblr, i was tagged twice by two sweet girls, Lisa of Leebeeloves and Sarah of abitofsilliness,to list FIVE THINGS THAT MAKE ME HAPPY. Since I was tagged TWICE I'll list Ten things. This post could not have come at a better time- I need to focus on the good things in my life with all this craziness happening in my life.

Here are my Ten things that make me happy

//My Family: They have been right by my side each and every step of the way. They are always there to offer support and love with everything I pursue and they are always the biggest cheerleaders when I venture to try something new.

//Painting: This has always been something I loved throughout my whole life. I currently surround myself with my own artwork in my room and also at work. In the last couple of years, painting has served the purpose of a stress reliever. I hope to post some of my paintings on here in the future.

//To Do Lists & My Planner: Crazy I know; These two items not only bring me a piece of mind but they bring me a sense of accomplishment to see what I have achieved.

// My Career: Even though, in a million years, I never would have thought I would end up where I am; I am thankful and grateful to have this opportunity. Some days may be nonstop and other days may be slow but overall I truly enjoy what  I do. ((Now I know the saying If you love what you do, you will never work a day in your life......I believe that is sorta true))

//Curious George, Minions and Mickey Mouse: These three things sound like a small child would put these on their list but for me, I love being a child at heart and sometimes you just need to laugh and let go of "adult " stressors. These three are perfect for that.

//Sunrises and Sunsets: Seeing the beautiful colors that God paints each morning and night really make me appreciate life even more.

//Old Photographs: I love surrounding myself with old photographs of my grandparents. The photos themselves are beautiful and I am always curious of what was exactly happening at that very moment in time. Why did they have that expression on their face. They are just full of history.

//Crafts: I try my hardest to be Martha Stewart but no one can live up to her perfection. Pinterest has helped me become even more craftier than I was. It always makes me smile when I find something fun and then try it and it actually comes out just like Pinterest.

//Perfect Summer evenings: You know this, everyone has a story of a perfect summer evening. An evening where there is no humidity, there is a slight breeze, the sun is setting ever so slightly and you are enjoying it with your significant other, your family or with a glass of wine by yourself. This moment has been written about in many songs like Eric Church's Springsteen "Like a soundtrack to a July Saturday Night."

//Random Acts of Kindness:  I always love doing something nice for a random stranger. I always think, maybe that person is having a terrible day and this little act of kindness will put a smile on their face or let them know things will get better.

Well Ten things later, you're still reading this- good!!! I'm glad I didn't bore you!

Tomorrow is a scary/anxiety filled/ unknown day. I have an appointment to see a doctor about my stomach problems and I am very nervous. I am trying to think positive and how this is a step in the right direction but I know that at some point, I have to redo all those tests again and honestly it's not even the fact that I have to drink barium/magnesium/distilled water its the actual tests. The one test took an hour and it was terrible and uncomfortable and scary. That was the only test Penelope couldn't come with me. (( I should mention, Penelope is a stuffed flamingo beanie baby that has been through everything with me in the last year. She comes with me to all my doctors appointments, testings and hospital stays. She's a trooper. The doctors and nurses think its adorable. She'll make an appearance sooner or later.)) I have to stay positive and just pray.

xx. Gabrielle

Hi August

From bowtiesandbankers.tumblr.com

August is officially here and I cannot figure out if I am excited about it or frustrated about it. On one hand I am excited about it because it means FALL is closer and I will be able to wear cute boots and sweaters. I am frustrated about it because I felt like I did NOTHING this summer. There were so many things I wanted to do/see/accomplish but it looks like I did nothing. Which in a way is nice but I really want to see the Minions Movie- ((I know, Im five but it looks really cute)) Many next weekend I will be able to do that.

As I look at my August calendar for both my work life and personal life, it looks a bit crazy. I want to start to preparing for Adopting Day in November. I know its 3 months away but those three months will fly by and I need to be super organized! My personal life is filled with doctors appointments, yoga classes and personal training. I often look forward to my yoga class and personal training because I know I am getting stronger, mentally and physically.

I made my goal list for August. After looking it over, my goals are more abstract this month rather than specific.

August Goals:

1.  Keep calm and level headed
2. Real and truthfully blogging
3. Educate myself more on my gastro issues
4. Time for me (paint more)
5. Take at least 1 photo a day

I have been blogging on and off for the past four years. The only time I really stuck with blogging was back in 2011 with my other blog, Just Simply Elle . It was basically just daily ramblings with no real sense of direction. I think it showed my true personality and I didn't really care about readers or anything. I did it for me. I am happy that I was able to capture these ramblings and I sorta wish I kept up on it more definitively.  My point with this babble is I want to get back to what I had back in 2011. My goal specifically #2 is to do just that. Not really care about who reads this, just to keep myself sane.

Pinapples painted by me 2014

Another goal I really want to do is #4 paint more. I absolutely love to paint. Am I the next Picasso, Rembrandt or Warhol, HECK NO, but do I enjoy it and love what I do, HECK YES! It basically works as a stress reliever for me and sometimes what I paint is really pretty, sometimes its not. I don't care- I just want to put paint on a canvas and hope for the best.

From acrohnieslife.tumblr.com

My Gastro issues have been a sore spot in my life for the past 3 years. Last year, I wrote down that I finally wanted to figure out what was going on and boy I think I made a mistake with that one. It has been a roller coaster ride trying to figure out what is going on inside of me. My most recent hospital stay (I promise a post just about that soon!!) made me realize whatever is really going on inside of me is bad. I've had doctors tell me that I have something and then other doctors tell me I do not. It is scary when you have conflicting opinions from medical professionals. All I want to do is lead as normal of a life as I can. Easier said than done I believe.

Well, Here is hoping that August is better than July; questions are answered and my life can remain somewhat normal. 

xx Gabrielle