Hi again

 Hi!

Well its been a long 8 month stretch without writing. I thought about writing often during that time yet I did not have the oomph to do anything about it. One of the main reasons why I stepped back was because it got to be TOO MUCH. I felt anxious and not good enough and overwhelmed and really down in the dumps about myself every single time I logged on to Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. I knew that was not a good feeling and it definitely was not good for my mental health. The comparisons, the feeling of not doing enough was overwhelming and I decided for my own sanity and mental health that I needed a change. 

Stepping back from Social Media was a breath of fresh air, literally. I felt like I was no longer tied to a screen and I wasn't mindlessly scrolling. It was a change and I knew I needed something else to fill up my time; I knew I would find something else but I was enjoying the stillness of not doing anything. I made a conscious effort to re-evaluate what apps I was clicking on and viewing each day. My screen time dramatically went down. I re-found my love of reading (thanks to Libby) and in the warmer months, I tired to be outside as much as I can. 

Life was still stressful and overwhelming though. I couldn't seem to shake this weird unknown feeling I was living with each day. The Pandemic was still happening and there seemed to be no end in sight. I felt like this past summer was harder than the Summer 2020. Maybe in the Summer of 2020, we (me) were all blissfully unaware what was going to be happening and now Summer 2021, we knew what was happening but didn't know what to do with it? I am not sure how to eloquently put that into words but I think you get the jist of it. I was trying my best to live my life as safely as I can. I slowly started to reemerge into the world and doing things I used to love. It was weird and sometimes scary but as I took baby steps, I felt like this is good. I felt like something was still missing but couldn't put my finger on it and I still didn't have any oomph to do anything about it.

Now eight months later....

I am here... again, with a clearer mind and a new way of thinking about things.

I have started to backpost (post date?) blog posts that were specific to the prior eight months. My Photo Diaries and WGJ Playlists were all being kept up during my blogging absence. I truly enjoy taking photos and making playlists of my favorite songs so that was a no brainer to continue to do. I am currently working on my Dear... series; this one is harder because it encapsulates so many things through out the month. Luckily, I have my phone and planners to help me through. Slowly but surely, I will complete the Dear.. series and continue on with it. 

Going forward, I want this to feel more organic and not so structured. That was one of my downfalls, I would be stressed writing a post because it was on my schedule. (No one cared about this silly schedule except me but I thought I would let myself down if I didn't write it). I want this to be a creative outlet and to be something I can really enjoy doing. I have so many creative interest and for a long time I felt like I should only focus on one; in reality, who is limiting you to only one, yourself? Why not try all the things and enjoy all the things? Maybe you will find even newer things to like too.

In my break, I have truly re-evaluated things in my life and what I am doing. Has it been easy, no but I have been very happy with the progress I have made so far. There is still a lot to work on but I think that is the fun part of it all. 

I hope you all stay on this journey with me and see where life takes me. 

[[Sometimes all that matters is that you are still trying]]