Imagine you are sitting down and for the 95th time in the past hour, you open Instagram and you are instantly bombarded with “ WE’RE PREGNANT!” “I SAID YES!” “WE ELOPED!” “I BOUGHT A HOUSE!” "I GOT A PROMOTION"
It looks like everyone is getting what they wanted and you are sitting here just meh; not winning at life at all. You have these thoughts- "why aren't I winning right now?" "why haven't I bought a house yet?" "Am I good enough?" "All these people are getting so many wins and here you are sitting there, just wanting ONE win. Even a tiny win, you would be happy with it.
Two weeks ago, I felt like social media was against me. Every time I opened it, there was always someone sharing their good news. I was happy for the person but deep down, I wanted to be able to share the good news too. I got to a point where I honestly felt that social media was intentionally showing me all these good things that I didn’t have right now and that I want in the future. It was the worst feeling. I was so sad and felt like I was in a slump for a few days. I felt like I was carrying around a boulder. I didn’t tell anyone, because I thought it was silly to be so upset over seeing internet friends having so many wins and there I was not winning but it was bothering me A LOT. When I finally did open up to a friend, I felt instantly better. I don’t know why I kept everything bottled up inside for so long without telling anyone else. You have no idea what they lost when they weren’t in their winning season.
Over the next week or so, I listened to a podcast (Carly Unfiltered on Bad on Paper), a bunch of instastories especially Kate from Lonestar Southern and Brighton Butler from Brighton the Day and read a few blogs and somehow some way the words “I’m not alone” and "You're not the only one" worked their way into the things I was listening to and reading. I was shocked- it was like someone knew I needed to hear that others were feeling the SAME. EXACT. WAY that I was feeling. It didn't matter that we all are at different points in our lives, we all have the same struggles. It was refreshing, as in the universe was showing me that, Yes Gab, everyone experiences those kind of weeks. Those weeks where it seems like the world is again you and you have no way out.
Well, let me tell you a few things that I learned in the past couple of weeks.
1. You are not alone/ You are not the only one. There are so many other people who feel the same way you are feeling.
2. If you talk about what you are going through/thinking, really open yourself up to others you trust. Let them into your thoughts and I promise you will feel so much better once you say those things out loud.
3. However those mean thoughts crept into your mind- don't give them the time of day. They are not true.
4. You might not have a win right now but think about how much you do you- family, love, kindness,, gratitude for this life- you have a lot more than you think.
Your JOY is coming; it is not late, it will be coming in perfect time because your JOY will be made especially for you and it will be even better than you ever could have dreamed of. In these hard moments- do not worry, just simply say, Shush! and pray for understanding and guidance. You got this, don't ever forget it.
[[Seek HIM not the anxious thoughts]]
-gabrielle
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